I have grown up in the church, I am surrounded by people who go to church. The short of it is I live and breath church. Having been brought up in such an environment going to church on a Sunday is normal for me, praying before going to bed is normal for me, fasting is normal for me. These things are so normal and constant that I couldn’t imagine my childhood without them. Ever since I was young I’ve had a support system that I know I can

count on but growing up in the church hasn’t been easy. It’s hard to live up to the expectations people have for you especially when you reach the age were you’re old enough to know more and have a better understanding of God and sometimes it’s these expectations that can drive you in the opposite direction to were people want you to go.

After this things pretty much start to go down hill. I found myself wanting to go to church less, the morals instilled in me at a young age seemed to become more of a guideline and I found myself doing exactly what I was taught was wrong. The people who watched me grow up began to wonder what was wrong with me I seemed to be growing into a good young women and know I seemed so distant. When really I was just cracking under the pressure of church, school and my social life.

The support system that used to be there for me became impossible to talk to because although they “knew what I was going through” I just couldn’t talk to them. What was really crazy is that this all happened so fast and I found myself in what I can only describe as a dark place. I had put up barriers so high not even the people close to me could pull them down. After a while of trying to get myself out of the ditch I had dug I remembered my upbringing and I turned to God and I cried and everything that I couldn’t tell anyone else came out and although my situation didn’t change instantly God placed people in my life that I could relate to.

Not only were they people that understood me they were people who were spiritually led, people who I’d known for ages but would never have thought to turn to and through these people God transformed my life and is still transforming my life. Yes there are times were I wake up and think I can’t do this, times when I say or do things I know are wrong and times when I just don’t want to go to church but then I can’t help but remember where God has bought me from.